Like cold molasses

I’m sure you have had days where you just can’t get motivated, when you would ‘rather not be here’. I know that I have had my fair share of those days this summer alone - it is warm out, maybe you didn’t get enough sleep, or too much, or at the wrong time - any number of reasons. That is kind of how I feel right now. That mixed with a feeling of being lost in familiar places and a fun-house mirror for good measure and it is something like that. I went home for a nap at 5:30 today and when I was physically able to get out of bed again at 7 (after setting my alarm ahead twice) it was as if my life had slowed down. I sort of imagine that it would have been like the feeling that the character Peter Gibbons felt in Office Space after that hypnosis thing went south - except without the part where he doesn’t work anymore. Because unlike that guy - working is my bliss.

So I put all the crap (keys, access card, wallet, etc) back into my pockets and I stagger, quite literally across the street to my ultimate destination. I felt as though someone could have attacked me with a rake along the front of the CS building and I probably would have landed on the sidewalk and then rolled off into the grass and fallen asleep. The security guy didn’t give me any issues, no one asks you were you are going anymore - probably because it really doesn’t matter when you are free to roam wherever you want - I think it used to be a formality because there is a column for it on the sign up sheet. The elevator was right there when I called it, which is usually the case when I come in during the evening. Now I am resigned to my office chair typing on an expensive keyboard finishing off a tube of Cheddar Lays Stax which I have never had before, but for tonight, appear to be my supper. This has been the story for the past three days as I strive to get a project that I am working on done before my new computer arrives and the rest of my life stops for two weeks. Of course, last night I had a real supper - ravioli - in fact I have a recipe to pass on, one that I created, but I will leave that for another post. I think that the fog is lifting so it is time to stop writing and start coding. I guess.

Aug 21, 2004 1:43 I have gained more response from this post than any other post I can think of. I apologize if I conveyed any negative energy - trust me I was smiling the whole time I wrote it. Granted I was very tired which is probably why it ended up so bizarre. When I say ‘rather not be here’ I was talking about work. Those days when you are so tired and just not feeling it and you would rather be doing something else - like catching up on much needed rest. So rest assured that I did not intend for my euphoric confusion to be construed as depression or any other problems. Cheers

Written by Colin Bate